I am alone at a crossroad

I'm so confused and frustrated by the decisions I'm going to have to be making in the coming future. There are just so many things to consider and arrange. It's even harder when you do not have anyone by your side, or anyone that has got your back. I'm all on my own in my next path in life. It has not even happened, and yet, I can already feel it.

I was really considering going to Boston for University. I have even received a pamphlet from them in the mail a couple days ago asking me to visit their campus. My family and I are going there during Spring Break, and I can hardly wait. Boston is such a beautiful city. It's away from New York and away from all the disgusting. The University has every program I'm interested in, and it seems very welcoming and an amazing place to study. Boston itself reminds me of England so much, and that is quite a good thing for someone who has an unhealthy love for all things European.

As always, something else has created hesitation in my decision. I was recently searching about Vancouver Winter Olympics. I started reading about Canada and it's cities. One particular city that stood out to me was Montréal. It reminds me of a slightly more modern version of Paris. It was just so beautiful in the photos I saw and just so clean and refreshing to look at. It was so hard to believe that a place like that could ever be in North America. The more I think about it, the more I feel it is appropriate to call Canada "the Europe of North America."

Along with reading about Canada and Montréal, I started coming across different sections of Wikipedia that discussed Montréal's Anglophone Universities. One University in particular interested me a great deal, and that was McGill University. The way it described McGill was staggering. "A 'prestigious' Canadian School." It immediately drew me in. Education is so important to me and so is becoming extremely successful in life. What better way is there to do it by going to a "prestigious" Canadian University in Montréal? I'll be learning things in Canada while studying in a European environment. My French would improve dramatically since 80% of people living in Montréal speak French. And all their Newspapers, traffic signs, and businesses are all in French. It would be such an amazing experience for someone like me who is already going to be majoring in a language program.

The only problem I have with this conclusion is no family support. It's kind of hard to want to study in a different country when your parents are not supportive of anything you do. My mother was not even that much more supportive when I told her about Boston. I normally do not care about parental approval over my life, but it is nice to have that extra support with what you want to do from your family. I mean, they're supposed to be the people who support you no matter what right? The ones that got your back? Wrong. Not in my family. My family underestimates me to the point where it makes me so sad inside. I normally don't let things they say get to me, but my interests in language and education are a huge part of my life. Having so little support and encouragement for something so significant is an awful feeling. Not to mention the fact that it makes you feel a lot less alone in making decisions. I guess I could do things on my own. It would be very hard and slightly sad, but I'm sure I'll get through it. The only thing my mom really cares about is money. She doesn't even really care what I do in life as long as I'm making a lot of money. Sometimes I really hate the way she thinks. I feel so bad about saying this, but she is one of the most ignorant of people I've ever met in my entire life.

So. I'm back at square one again. I was so happy about my Boston decision because I thought I finally knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted in my life. Now that this new interest in Montréal has come up, I'm back to being indecisive and at a crossroad. And with the lack of support and guidance, the decision as to what I do is going to be immensely difficult. I'm so scared I'll make a wrong turn and end up going in circles and back where I started.